Gender Politics: My take on B*tch & Lupe's B*tch Bad
I am not well versed in gender politics but in my limited understanding of the matter, I would define it as the social relations and discourse on how people of the same and/or opposite gender/genders [gender being the social construct of one's sex] interact with each other and how policy governs these relations. Gender politics is easily the most interesting topic I have dealt with this summer. Away from the sheltered environment of my campus community of hipsters,
progressives, and activists, I am finally living the reality of the discourse which took place in my college
courses, friends' dorms, cafeteria, womyn's collective, and on my
Newsfeed - respectability politics, feminism, patriarchy, and misogyny. So far, so good. It has not been (that) bad. It is just that for the most part, gender politics does not matter in much the same way to the people I know/have met away from college as it did to those I met in college. To make a gross generalization, there are people who care about gender politics and those who do not care. And to be clear, people can not be neatly
categorized into these two groups on the basis of stereotypical assumptions of who politicizes race, gender,
and/or class. Someone either cares, or they do not and allow said person to tell you this.
Group One: Those who do not care
In general, I have come to realize that not everyone reflects or thinks about their personhood in the same way; some people do not think about who they are in an analytical, relational,"I am trying to make sense of my identity as [insert race, gender, sexual orientation, etc here] in this world" terms. Some of the people I have met or know are just trying to get theirs and live. This is not to say that the people I speak of do not engage in gendered relations. In fact, they do in myriad ways. Perhaps, they do not engage in gender politics as I imagined they would - in the discourse of academia. But generally speaking, while these family members, friends, and acquaintances can speak on the various facets of their racial or gender identities, they are just not sitting there thinking, reading, posting articles, or talking to people about it as my friends and I did in college. It seems as though the politicization of things does not impact or paralyze these peoples lives in much the same way as it did/does to mine and that of the people I went to college with.
Take for instance, the recent controversy and conversation on Lupe's song "B*tch Bad". Of the target population for whom this brand of hip-hop is specifically marketed, 13-25 year olds, the ones I know who are not in my immediate college circle are not concerned about calling themselves the b* word, being called the word, or calling another person the word, let alone concerned about the politics of the song. It is just not pressing. Lupe's video is not on their walls. As someone told me, if you have a problem with someone calling you the word, you confront the person, not a song.
Since being back in the "real" world, it appears that a lot of what academics, intellectuals, politicians, and the college/liberal/elitist population with whom I interact think, write, or say is removed from a large segment of the population, especially those for whom one would think such issues would be important. I have had numerous conversations, read almost a dozen commentaries, watched and analyzed Lupe's video, and talked with close friends about the song and I have only been called a b*tch two or three times in my life as a Black woman living in the South Bronx. In fact, most of my friends who shared Lupe's video do not look like they have been called the word much either - at least, they would not tolerate being called the word anyways. I do not know what it is but I would speculate that maybe those who do not care about the politics of Lupe's videos or gender or anything else have more pressing issues to deal with, are unaware of the conversation, speak on the issue but not in the same way, and/or are just plain ol' apathetic. And there is nothing wrong with that.
Group 2: Those who do
It appears that for those of whom gender politics or B*tch Bad matters, whether is it through intellectual study, policy, activism, and/or lived experience, the key to the discourse of the song, video and term may be structural - a deconstruction on how race, class, gender, capitalism, institutions and the like interact to create the music industry, the images we see of Black people on TV, violence in our communities, incarceration, etc. Whether or not this group of people are called or use the word does not matter. I am in this group but as someone who engages with the word indirectly through the people around me who use the word frequently, I think that it is important to discuss what B*tch Bad says about the reality of peoples lives and not just it's political or structural implications. While I truly appreciate Lupe for the song and for starting such a critical conversation, something is amiss. Below are my two critiques of (Black) male feminism or gender politics which B*tch Bad brings to mind:
First, because some men are not fully aware of the status and privilege they inherit from a patriarchal society, they are unaware of how they are complicit in the system and how they perpetuate misogyny. Some men, in this case Lupe, seem to be looking through the tainted glass of patriarchy in their analysis of gender relations. Even with the best of intentions, a lot of men cause a lot of pain and fall short on being true allies to women (examples: a man asking a woman if it is her time of the month when she is upset or as recent women's reproductive debates have brought forth, attempts by men to make women's health decisions on the behalf of women). In the case of B*tch Bad, the song and video portrays Black women as weak individuals - specifically, weak enough to be influenced and manipulated by the misogyny of the music industry and deserving to be sneered at because they have internalized the show they have been made into by the Black man and the music industry. I felt a little ashamed after watching B*tch Bad; it was a little demeaning and I was not empowered. By the end of the video, Lupe seemed to have placed the Black man on a pedestal.
Yes, Lupe hit the nail on the head on the current state of the hip-hop industry and made a strong commentary on Black entertainment as a modern day minstrel show. However, he missed the nuances and complications of being a Black woman in the music industry and being a Black woman in America, period. He shamed the likes of Nikki and Azealia who claim and use the term Bad B*tch and who are a symbol of empowerment to a lot of women. I do not like Nikki and Azealia's music and I definitely hate the word b*tch but I definitely see where these women are coming from with their efforts to reclaim the term.
Thus, while the message of the song is great, Lupe should have made a song for/to Black men about calling women B*tches and hoes and left out the women's narrative; he should have spoken first and foremost to his comrades. The Unlocking: Joining the conversation around Lupe's Bitch Bad does a good job of highlighting how Lupe misses some of the complicated nuances of gender politics. One question such an analysis brings forth however, is who has the right to tell who's story.
Second, a lot of Black male intellectuals, progressives, and activists maybe intellectual/actual feminists but miss the bull's eye when it comes to applying the principals which they claim they espouse in their own lives. B*tch Bad or not, I am more interested in how you treat the women in your circle - intimate and otherwise. A man does not need to call you a b*tch to treat you horribly (and strange but true, he may call you his "Perfect B*tch" and treat you like a Queen). A lot of black male intellectuals and humanists do not treat the women in their lives as they should (there is a lot of evidence on the fact that a lot of Black male civil rights leaders cheated on and/or abused their spouses or partners). This narrative by Kiese Laymon should be read by every Black man, or at least by those who claim to be humanists and feminists: Kanye West is better at his job than I am at mine but I'm way better at being a fake ass feminist? Dr. Laymon's narrative sheds some light on the hypocrisy and inconsistency in the lived experience of Black male feminists - where the intellectual consciousness does not collide with the actual character.
In truth, if I had to choose my cup of feminism, I would have neither Lupe's, Kanye's, or Dr. Laymon's understanding and expression of male feminism. For me, a more delicate and nuanced expression of Black male feminism would look more like this post I pulled from a tumblr called The Feel of Free:
Group One: Those who do not care
In general, I have come to realize that not everyone reflects or thinks about their personhood in the same way; some people do not think about who they are in an analytical, relational,"I am trying to make sense of my identity as [insert race, gender, sexual orientation, etc here] in this world" terms. Some of the people I have met or know are just trying to get theirs and live. This is not to say that the people I speak of do not engage in gendered relations. In fact, they do in myriad ways. Perhaps, they do not engage in gender politics as I imagined they would - in the discourse of academia. But generally speaking, while these family members, friends, and acquaintances can speak on the various facets of their racial or gender identities, they are just not sitting there thinking, reading, posting articles, or talking to people about it as my friends and I did in college. It seems as though the politicization of things does not impact or paralyze these peoples lives in much the same way as it did/does to mine and that of the people I went to college with.
Take for instance, the recent controversy and conversation on Lupe's song "B*tch Bad". Of the target population for whom this brand of hip-hop is specifically marketed, 13-25 year olds, the ones I know who are not in my immediate college circle are not concerned about calling themselves the b* word, being called the word, or calling another person the word, let alone concerned about the politics of the song. It is just not pressing. Lupe's video is not on their walls. As someone told me, if you have a problem with someone calling you the word, you confront the person, not a song.
Since being back in the "real" world, it appears that a lot of what academics, intellectuals, politicians, and the college/liberal/elitist population with whom I interact think, write, or say is removed from a large segment of the population, especially those for whom one would think such issues would be important. I have had numerous conversations, read almost a dozen commentaries, watched and analyzed Lupe's video, and talked with close friends about the song and I have only been called a b*tch two or three times in my life as a Black woman living in the South Bronx. In fact, most of my friends who shared Lupe's video do not look like they have been called the word much either - at least, they would not tolerate being called the word anyways. I do not know what it is but I would speculate that maybe those who do not care about the politics of Lupe's videos or gender or anything else have more pressing issues to deal with, are unaware of the conversation, speak on the issue but not in the same way, and/or are just plain ol' apathetic. And there is nothing wrong with that.
Group 2: Those who do
It appears that for those of whom gender politics or B*tch Bad matters, whether is it through intellectual study, policy, activism, and/or lived experience, the key to the discourse of the song, video and term may be structural - a deconstruction on how race, class, gender, capitalism, institutions and the like interact to create the music industry, the images we see of Black people on TV, violence in our communities, incarceration, etc. Whether or not this group of people are called or use the word does not matter. I am in this group but as someone who engages with the word indirectly through the people around me who use the word frequently, I think that it is important to discuss what B*tch Bad says about the reality of peoples lives and not just it's political or structural implications. While I truly appreciate Lupe for the song and for starting such a critical conversation, something is amiss. Below are my two critiques of (Black) male feminism or gender politics which B*tch Bad brings to mind:
First, because some men are not fully aware of the status and privilege they inherit from a patriarchal society, they are unaware of how they are complicit in the system and how they perpetuate misogyny. Some men, in this case Lupe, seem to be looking through the tainted glass of patriarchy in their analysis of gender relations. Even with the best of intentions, a lot of men cause a lot of pain and fall short on being true allies to women (examples: a man asking a woman if it is her time of the month when she is upset or as recent women's reproductive debates have brought forth, attempts by men to make women's health decisions on the behalf of women). In the case of B*tch Bad, the song and video portrays Black women as weak individuals - specifically, weak enough to be influenced and manipulated by the misogyny of the music industry and deserving to be sneered at because they have internalized the show they have been made into by the Black man and the music industry. I felt a little ashamed after watching B*tch Bad; it was a little demeaning and I was not empowered. By the end of the video, Lupe seemed to have placed the Black man on a pedestal.
Yes, Lupe hit the nail on the head on the current state of the hip-hop industry and made a strong commentary on Black entertainment as a modern day minstrel show. However, he missed the nuances and complications of being a Black woman in the music industry and being a Black woman in America, period. He shamed the likes of Nikki and Azealia who claim and use the term Bad B*tch and who are a symbol of empowerment to a lot of women. I do not like Nikki and Azealia's music and I definitely hate the word b*tch but I definitely see where these women are coming from with their efforts to reclaim the term.
Thus, while the message of the song is great, Lupe should have made a song for/to Black men about calling women B*tches and hoes and left out the women's narrative; he should have spoken first and foremost to his comrades. The Unlocking: Joining the conversation around Lupe's Bitch Bad does a good job of highlighting how Lupe misses some of the complicated nuances of gender politics. One question such an analysis brings forth however, is who has the right to tell who's story.
Second, a lot of Black male intellectuals, progressives, and activists maybe intellectual/actual feminists but miss the bull's eye when it comes to applying the principals which they claim they espouse in their own lives. B*tch Bad or not, I am more interested in how you treat the women in your circle - intimate and otherwise. A man does not need to call you a b*tch to treat you horribly (and strange but true, he may call you his "Perfect B*tch" and treat you like a Queen). A lot of black male intellectuals and humanists do not treat the women in their lives as they should (there is a lot of evidence on the fact that a lot of Black male civil rights leaders cheated on and/or abused their spouses or partners). This narrative by Kiese Laymon should be read by every Black man, or at least by those who claim to be humanists and feminists: Kanye West is better at his job than I am at mine but I'm way better at being a fake ass feminist? Dr. Laymon's narrative sheds some light on the hypocrisy and inconsistency in the lived experience of Black male feminists - where the intellectual consciousness does not collide with the actual character.
In truth, if I had to choose my cup of feminism, I would have neither Lupe's, Kanye's, or Dr. Laymon's understanding and expression of male feminism. For me, a more delicate and nuanced expression of Black male feminism would look more like this post I pulled from a tumblr called The Feel of Free:
A Black male feminist (or perhaps a male feminist period) would allow all women to tell their own experiences and allow them to interpret their experiences in whatever language or form makes sense to them - whether or not he agrees. A male feminist would listen to the women in his life and would read and listen to what acclaimed feminists have to say. A male feminist would talk to his male friends about how he treats the women in his life. He would treat the women in his life with love and respect, and he would love himself too. And again, he would seriously listen when a woman tells her story and he would allow her to interpret it in whatever language makes sense to her - b*tch or not.As a man, I have no problem with women generalizing men as rapists, misogynists, yada yada. Because I’ve seen men do some vile shit and had to stop even viler shit from happening. This is from the 3rd grade to now. Waayyy out of line touching, sick name-calling, physical abuse, all dat shit. I see looks in men’s eyes that make me uncomfortable, so imagine how a woman who couldn’t properly defend herself from a man is feeling. Again, this is shit I’ve seen at the age of nine and I still see it. Very disturbing. And I’m not talking about strangers. I know niggas in my family, young and old, that exhibit some scary behavior towards females. I do not fuck with it.I got three little sisters and hella younger female cousins. Anything like that happening to them takes my mind to very dark places. So I have no problem with a woman generalizing all men as rapists. You know what I call that? Self-preservation. If that is what you gotta do to ensure your safety, then do that shit to the fullest. Sadly in the wrong place and at the wrong time, that won’t be enough to protect you.I’ll never say “But I’m not like that” or “All men ain’t like that” to a woman who is talking about her actual life experiences. What type of shit is that? I don’t have to make myself feel better about what type of man I am, because I already know. I also have seen the worst in men. I don’t like it.Generalize the fuck outta me. Protect yourself. Because Ima tell my sisters the same thing.
I have a slight problem with this kind of 'gender relativism' that u seem to be espousing. U can't say that its ok for women to make generalizations about all men being rapists for self-preservation and then feel uncomfortable because Lupe made a generalization about all women adopting a bad bitch mentality for the purpose of social commentary. I understand what you are saying about certain narratives of empowerment not being accounted for, but I think his ultimate point was to tear away the hidden insecurities that usually form the foundation of the bad bitch mentality. I can see where you are coming from with the woman in the video being demonized in some way (he faults the mother for corrupting the mind and soul of the little boy), but wouldn't you say that little boys do learn how to respect women by growing up around women who demand respect?
ReplyDeleteAt the end of the day, Lupe is a Black American man critiquing and challenging current Black American standards of speech and behavior. Of course Black male feminists have to understand that they are not women, can never fully understand women's struggles, and must critique from that perspective, but I do not think that means that he cannot challenge patterns that he sees corrupting his sisters. Complete relativism is not the answer. It's about dialogue. We've heard the "Imma Bad Bitch" side too the extreme, let's hear another perspective.
- Ces
OMG. My first comment! Thanks Ces :)
DeleteAnyways, yes, I understand your argument on "gender relativism" and I think I address that some what with the question I pose in the 8th paragraph when I ask, who has the right to tell who's story. I think that silencing any one's perspective, story, experience or critique is incorrect and that is in no way what I wish to suggest with my critique of B*tch Bad. I actually like the song and I am glad he was able to initiate this public discourse on the term Bad B*tch through this music. It is however still important to ask who's narrative is being told when we hear music (as in everything else) because it has great implications for how the message of the song is received.
My two arguments on the song really, which I could have made clearer, are:
1. Lupe missed what should have been his target audience with this song. The people who seem to care about the song do not use the word/term or do not associate with that Bad B*tch culture.
2. It seems like the men who care and whom I've seem post the song take it to be a self congratulatory ode to their enlightenment on (some) women. One guy I know commented on his post of the song: "This is to all the women who call themselves Bad B*tches". I mean, reallyyyyyyyy?!? Why isn't this a song men and women? I see a lot more men refer to women in music, tv, and daily life as Bad B*tches than I do women to themselves. Moreover, a woman who comes to consider herself a Bad B*tch is not associating with the term in a vacuum. We live in a socially constructed reality and the women I know who self-identify as such seem to derive this identification from how men identify them or for some sort of validation from men, and/or as an empowering claim on their gender, sexual prowess, and beauty. But the message in B*tch Bad, which may not have been Lupe's intention at all, is that this Bad B*tch term/culture/pysche is a fault of women which needs to be critiqued by men. And that is the frustration which I wished to address with this post.
I also think that it is not fair to say that little boys learn how to respect women growing up around women who demand respect because the reverse suggests that men who disrespect women learn it from growing up around women who do not demand respect. In my perspective, men respect the women in their lives - their mothers, aunts, daughter, etc - but not someone else's daughter, mother, aunt (prime example being old (&new?) Jay Z). So it appears that men learn how to associate with/respect women from the men in their lives and through socialization. At best, men learn through both women and men but it is not just through their relationship with the women in their lives. For this reason, it is unfair to blame women, Black women in particular, for this Bad B*tch culture (and this blame is what Lupe highlights, whether he intends to or not).
In all honestly, just like other terms and words which have or are being claimed and appropriated, Bad B*tch is a term of endearment - especially in the context and culture I have encountered it. Whether or not it should be appropriated in this light is up for discussion but a critique of Bad B*tch should not rest on the assumption that the term is disrespectful or derogatory to women because that would be just untrue.
And finally, on the issue of what male feminism looks like to me, I still identify with the statement from the guy on tumblr - especially in sentiment although his phrasing may not be directly aligned with mine. To me, he is not saying that all women should generalize men as rapists. Rather, if a woman wants to make this generalization for her well-being, then yes, that is her right. We all generalize a whole lot about the other gender and about ourselves but it seems like women doing so publicly is always policed. So for instance, a man can talk to a woman about why she considers herself a Bad B*tch but he is not an ally to me if he degrades, looks down, or criticize her because of it.