Frank Ocean Pens Open Letter on His Sexuality

Listen to Frank Ocean's We all Try while you read this. At least that is what I have on repeat while I write this. It helps with getting the right sentimentality for his recent post on tumblr regarding rumors about his bisexuality. It puts me in an amazing place of freedom and love (when I am not naturally in this disposition). Anyways, here is the link to the post on his tumblr page: http://frankocean.tumblr.com/

This was what he shared prior to the post:

"BasedGod was right

we’re all a bunch of golden million dollar babies. my hope is that the babies born these days will inherit less of the bullshit than we did. anyhow, what i’m about to post is for anyone who cares to read. it was intended to fill the thank you’s section in my album credits, but with all the rumors going round.. i figured it’d be good to clarify.."

And because the font is incredibly small on his open letter, I have copied and pasted what he shared on his tumblr in a bigger font (credit to MissJia.com) below:

Whoever you are, where ever you are, I’m starting to think we’re a lot alike. Human beings spinning on blackness. All wanting to be seen, touched, heard, paid attention to. My loved ones are everything to me here. In the last year or three, I’ve screamed at my creator, screamed at clouds in the sky for some explanation. Mercy maybe. For peace of mind to rain like Manna somehow.

Four summers ago, I met somebody. I was 19 years old; he was too. We spent that summer, and the summer after, together. Everyday almost. And on the days we were together, time would glide. Most of the day I’d see him and his smile. I’d hear his conversation and his silence until it was time to sleep. Sleep I would often share with him. By the time I realized I was in love, it was malignant. It was hopeless. It was no escaping, no negotiating with the feelings. No choice. It was my first love. It changed my life.

Back then, my mind would wander to the women I had been with, the ones I cared for and thought I was in love with. I reminisced about the sentimental songs I enjoyed when I was a teenager. The ones I played when I experienced a girlfriend for the first time. I realized they were written in a language I did not yet speak. I realized too much too quickly. Imagine being thrown from a plane. I wasn’t in a plane though. I was in a Nissan Maxima, the same car I packed up with bags and drove to Los Angeles in.

I sat there and told my friend how I felt. I wept as the words left my mouth. I grieved for them, knowing I could never take them back for myself. He patted my back. He said kind things. He did his best. But he wouldn’t admit the same.

He had to go back inside soon. It was late and his girlfriend was waiting for him upstairs. He wouldn’t tell me the truth about his feelings for me for another three years. I felt like I only imagined reciprocity for years. Now imagine being thrown from a cliff. No, I wasn’t on a cliff. I was still in my car telling myself it was gonna be fine and to take deep breaths. I took the breaths and carried on. I kept up a peculiar friendship with him because I couldn’t imagine keeping up my life without him. I struggled to master myself and my emotions. I wasn’t always successful.

The dance went on…I kept the rhythm for several summers after. It’s winter now. I’m typing this on a plane back to Los Angeles from New Orleans. I flew home for another marred Christmas. I have a window seat. It’s December 27th, 2011. By now I’ve written two albums. This being the second. I wrote to keep myself busy and sane. I wanted to created worlds that were rosier than mine. I tried to channel overwhelming emotions. I’m surprised at how far all of it has taken me.

Before writing this, I told some people my story. I’m sure these people kept me alive, kept me safe…sincerely, these are the folks I want to thank from the floor of my heart. Everyone of you knows who you are….

Great humans, probably angels. I don’t know what happens now, and that’s alright.
I don’t have any secrets I need kept anymore. There’s probably some small shit still, but you know what I mean. I was never alone, as much as I felt like it. As much as I still do sometimes. I never was. I don’t think I ever could be. Thanks.

To my first love, I’m grateful for you. Grateful that even though it wasn’t what I hoped for and even though it was never enough, it was. Some things never are…and we were. I won’t forget you. I won’t forget the summer. I’ll remember who I was when I met you. I’ll remember who you were and how we’ve both changed and stayed the same. I’ve never had more respect for life and living than I have right now.

Maybe it takes a near death experience to feel alive. Thanks.

To my mother, you raised me strong. I know I’m only brave because you were first, so thank you! All of you, for everything good. I feel like a free man. If I listen closely, I can hear the sky falling too.

Orange reminds me of the summer I first fell in love… -Frank Ocean

My commentary is not on Frank Ocean's sexuality. After talking to some of my friends and my sisters about the rumors which surfaced on the web yesterday, I know that for some, it changes their perception of him and his music, while for others, it does not or means little to nothing. I think that every listener will have a different reaction to his revelation and that is okay. The one argument I have heard which makes me scratch my head, however, is that he lied to his listeners through his music - ie. he sings "Songs for Women" when he feels that way about men - hmmmmmm. Okaaaay. I will say how I feel about that one when someone wants to know.

My angle, or the most important facet of Frank Ocean's revelation for me, especially in light of his open letter, is again, the power of music and story telling. It takes me back to J. Cole's twitter message: "My story ain't the only one I'm tryna to tell". It also ties Frank Ocean to a common thread among the artists I particularly love - that they share the characteristics of being truly vulnerable and honest - even in the face of derision from society (prime examples being Kanye and Drake). I think that the more important message from what Frank Ocean shared is that of a story about unrequited love, which most of us, irrespective of sexuality, can relate to. Our fixation on his sexuality might be natural or manufactured but after all of that dust settles, what I read is a message about learning to love yourself and your journey after what is often a heartbreaking and self-altering/defining experience of loving someone who does not love you back.

I truly applaud Frank Ocean for sharing his experience with us in letter and in music. Finding his post this morning made me really happy to love music, artists, people, and just our general experiences/struggles to liberate ourselves. This makes for an even more meaningful 4th of July for me; that the greatest experience of freedom is to live the life that we choose. Thank you again Frank Ocean and I loveeeee you and your music!!!