Reasons It Hasn't Worked

I'm a sucker for Love
And this is no simple trite notion,
This is my reality.

I'm a sucker for 
hands held
lips kissed
shoulders caressed
I-love-you's whispered.
I am at her mercy,
And seduced by her warmth.

I'm a follower of Denial,
And my shepherd leads me well,
Straight into relationships that were never right,
But somehow meant to be.

I follow her from 
This-will-never-work
to
We-are-perfect-for-eachother.
From
Maybe-I-should-give-him-a-chance
to
I'm-staying-at-his-place-this-week.
From
complicated loneliness
to
complicated bliss. 

I'm a child of Hope,
And I have my mother's eyes. 

I see a man who may not be the one,
But who will do his best not to hurt me,
Until, of course, he can't do his best anymore.
I see a future filled with grace and marked by certainty.

Forever drawn in by the prospect,
Held by the sweetness,
And let go by the enlightened heart of a man who promised me the love of my life.

His realization is our denouement. 
And my broken heart is mine to heal.
Knowing that I could've prevented this by explaining
That we will always have Love,
But we will never be right,
And that I will always be...

A sucker for Love
A follower of Denial
And a child of Hope.
 
by Cecily Bumbray
 
Find more of her work, including her music, here:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Reasons it hasn't worked

I like men who impress me Lots of women like them I am sacrificial in what I want Forthright in what I need I like only him He is egotistical He has power by way of his intelligence or pursuit Lots of women like him He likes lots of women He does not know how to be a man and be with me. Poems for 72 Days, Poem 11 Inspired by Warsan Shire - Excuses For Why We Failed at Love
Read more

Gender Politics: My take on B*tch & Lupe's B*tch Bad

I am not well versed in gender politics but in my limited understanding of the matter, I would define it as the social relations and discourse on how people of the same and/or opposite gender/genders [gender being the social construct of one's sex] interact with each other and how policy governs these relations. Gender politics is easily the most interesting topic I have dealt with this summer. Away from the sheltered environment of my campus community of hipsters, progressives, and activists, I am finally living the reality of the discourse which took place in my college courses, friends' dorms, cafeteria, womyn's collective, and on my Newsfeed - respectability politics, feminism, patriarchy, and misogyny. So far, so good. It has not been (that) bad. It is just that for the most part, gender politics does not matter in much the same way to the people I know/have met away from college as it did to those I met in college. To make a gross generalization, there are people w...
Read more

Where the hell is pure

Image
A couple of ideas/ readings/thoughts driving this poem: 1. I often reflect on Gabrielle Union's letter to herself in the October Issue (2012) of Essence Magazine in which she writes to her younger self/ other women about loving her "deep Mahogany skin" and generally, colorism in the Black community and in Hollywood. Everytime I post A Letter from the Young, I think of it. 2. I just read this article on BBC about colorism in Africa: Africa: Where black is not really beautiful . My problem with the general debate on colorism in Africa, which I have heard many others echo, is with this notion that women and men who bleach their skins are more insecure, less conscious, have more self esteem issues, and/or are more susceptible to subscribing to the "white supremacist mentality" than the rest of us. In some circles, they are even vilified. I truly believe that this is unfair. Firstly, saying that African women/men who bleach their skin do not love being Black or...
Read more