Everybody wants heaven...
I have taken a needless hiatus from writing and I am vowing with the start of a new week
to get back to it, though less idealistically. I will try to write as
much as I can but I must be honest and say that this may not be an
everyday affair. This past week has been an enlightening time for me in
both exciting and difficult ways. For the exciting, I have rekindled
my relationship with two amazing old friends, went to a J-Holiday concert, started my
driving lessons, found an old sewing machine and created a sewing
project for myself, bought my GRE books, have found some opportunities
to volunteer in the city, and went to my first 21+ club in the city (best time in NYC yet). For the difficult, it is time to start anew in many
respects. I need to constantly remind myself and work on the knowledge
that I owe it to myself to be happy; to not be jaded by others, experiences,
and the temptation of using clutches to explain certain behaviors which I need to work on.
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Topic: Everybody wants heaven...
This past Saturday, a conversation between my uncle and I resurfaced a question I have often asked myself, especially after I enrolled in college: is "money the motive" of upward mobility/life/success/ etc? The conversation went as follows:
Uncle: So what kind of men do you like?
Myself: Um, it is hard to tell you this but I want a revolutionary, like a Malcolm X.
Uncle: Well you know that kind of man does not exist anymore, right?
Myself: Yes (I guess). I just don't want a traditional man; one who works just for the sake of making money or because that is what one has to do. I want someone more like me; someone who wants things to be different.
Uncle: Well, let me tell you this: I have been in this country for almost 16 years (I believe he said) and I have sent money to my mother (in Ghana) every month. I understand what you are trying to say but you will realize when you have kids and as your parents grow older that you want to make money; you have to make money. I am sure that "it will come with" whatever you end up doing. If you end up with a position where they offer you $X (I do not remember what large figure he said), will you tell them to cut it in half? No. So...[end conversation].
A few weeks prior to the conversation with my uncle, my dad and I had a similar conversation about wealth as we drove by a Trump building in the City. My father makes it a point to draw my attention to Trump buildings in the city. On this particularly day, I said: Dad, you talk about wanting to live a modest life but you constantly adulate an excessive/ money dependent lifestyle. You do not really want a modest life. You just say that you do, just like a lot of people I have come across. My father's response: I do want a modest life style and I have made sacrifices in my life in accordance with this principle. I mean, how many beds can you sleep on? One. How many cars can you drive in? One. How many houses can you live in? One. I know that money is not the end. There are greater things in life.
This past week, I listened continuously to the up-and-coming Ghanaian rapper, M.anifest's, song Heaven, on his album Immigrant Chronicles. On this song, he raps the following:
"Everybody wants heaven but nobody wants to die.
That be how we dey. That be what them say...
Everybody wants to eat but nobody wants to farm..."
The conversations with my uncle and dad, M.anifest's lyrics, Damisa Moya's recent article, Dambisa Moyo on resource scarcity and China's race for deals, on the limits to growth as the world's middle class expands, and Cord Jefferson's article, What's 50 Grand to a Revolutionary like me? Watch the throne and the New Black Power which gives a poignant argument on the appropriation of the notion/term Black revolutionary by Kanye West and Jay Z, all together elucidate my complex and conflicting feelings about my personal acquisition of wealth and the ways some members of my generation relate to the notion.
To start, for as long as I can remember, money has never been sufficient motivation for me to do or pursue anything. In high school, I was mostly rewarded with food and not pecuniary remuneration for jobs or help I provided to teachers. In college, I similarly accepted jobs and internships whose mission were aligned with what I wanted to do at the time; the pay was always secondary. This privilege to do things not necessarily for money was and continues to be a luxury. Through the hard work of my parents and the generosity of philanthropists, I have been been afforded opportunities to study and work in accordance with my interests and I am grateful that I have not been pressured into an activity otherwise.
But neither my family nor I are rich or wealthy; rich/wealth are very subjective terms but for the sake of argument, just believe me that I am not rich or close to being rich in strict economic terms. The common belief I have encountered among most people I know is that people who do not have money want it, at times desperately, and thus are generally motivated by the prospects of acquiring it. I, however, have never really wanted or liked money in excess of simply getting by. I am not the only one who feels this way and this disposition is not due to any higher calling or consciousness. Rather, I am ill accustomed to the luxuries wealth affords; wealth makes me uncomfortable and there is really no getting used to it. When I used to work for an investment bank in high school [did not really do much there] and was paid more per hour than members of my family who hold physically and mentally demanding jobs, I was primarily ashamed and then annoyed. It was from this experience in the 11th grade which led me to the decision never to go into the corporate world (although I would go on to study classical economics in college...not necessarily my best decision).
The above personal account, however, is not to criticize wealth in and of itself but to situate and contextualize myself in a phenomenon which baffles me. To be clear, I do not hate or despise rich or wealthy people. I can be and I am friends with capitalists. I have a [very] few rich friends and I appreciate their perspectives on life and society, as I do with everyone [and ofcourse, the travels which their money affords]. In fact, my college classmates who are going off to the corporate world or some other money generating organ fully aware and comfortable with the fact that they are there to make money, lots of it, and may be even selfish in their pursuit of it have my stamp of approval; at least they know and are honest with where they stand. I can not empathize with their motivation for money per say but I very well understand the need for money, the thrill of adventure, the appeal of luxury and the addiction to fame, power, desire as I have sought these things as well and perhaps still do in divergent forms.
The behavior which is unnerving for me and which I have the most conflicting intellectual and emotional response to, however, is the social activist, "save the world", community organizer, public intellectual, social critic, progressive, environmentalist, revolutionary, self-proclaimed or renowned, who has grandiose humanist ideals and beliefs about changing the world for the proletariat AND is being paid as much as the capitalist. Specifically, accepts this pay and indiscreetly indulges it in, consciously or otherwise. Let me give some examples: a facebook acquaintance who is working for a non-profit in D.C. campaigning for policy change in low-income communities regularly shares instagram pictures of himself eating at exquisite restaurants, with other power-brokers, and with his sterling watches and cufflinks. Another self professed Black progressive geek and future public intellectual's facebook cover page is a picture of his brand-name watch, shoes, and trousers and as revealed by one of his friends, is also the "connoisseur of the finest wine". There is this dissonance which I sense here and to which I can draw parallels to Jefferson's article about the redefinition of the revolutionary - that the acquisition of wealth, status, celebrity and power by people formerly (and still) denied access to high society is now considered revolutionary.
To expound further, what is unsettling for me is not whether the social activist is wealthy or not. My parents modeled (or tried to model) for me the belief that as I work to understand and fight for the happiness and security of others, I should not ignore my own. A similar rationale applies to this social activist pursuit: it would be unfair to ask the social activist to work for the "common man" to have his fair share of the worlds riches while he/she/they/them/it does not secure it for himself/herself/themselves/itself. The conflict is the incongruity of humanists' world visions and motivations and the way they live their personal lives - a discord, or dissonance which I am not sure people are conscious of and only wish we would speak about, if only to say that we, as humanists, face a challenging feat of understanding our relationship to/with wealth and our work.
People often distance and separate themselves from the issues which they seek to address; as though they are not implicated in the struggle in which they fight, specifically, those concerned with the poor, proletariat, farmer, et cetera. As Moyo's and Jefforson's articles point out and countless other economists and other specialists have well accounted in their work, we can not all live on this planet as rich or middle class people! I think that we all know this outside of our specialties; our world can not support such aspirations. If we all want to eat, someone has to farm. And to be clear, the farmer's social role is not any less significant, civilized, or appealing than that of the market analyst. If anything, it is more important because it sustains us all. My point here is not to argue that someone has to be rich and another subservient to his riches; my point is that it is a zero sum game and there are limits to growth, although technology may mitigate its effects or onset. In fact, on average, the money that the progressive is making lobbying in D.C. directly impacts the privileges afforded to the person they are fighting for whether locally or globally; it is not a causal relationship but on average, this is true.
In truth, More Money, More Problems, For everyone! I am still thinking through exactly what this stance entails for myself as I go higher on the educational ladder. Can I say no to the $100,000 salary if that is the status quo for the career I end up pursuing? Perhaps not. Members of my family in Ghana are poor, very poor; my parents are getting older; I want to have a family of my own; and I want to be a philanthropist as I have been the benefactor of other people's financial success. This reality and my aspirations require money. But I do not want to deceive myself into thinking that making money as a social activist is revolutionary if my cause is to help the poor, specifically the poor and disadvantaged in Africa. I want to be serious in my consideration of living a modest lifestyle; I do not just want to say it haphazardly however subjective the term modesty is. If money is the motive, then money is the motive. But if not, then again, I would rather be cognizant of the complexity and contradictions living in a highly materialistic world as a humanist. As with everything, I know that we are all in constant negotiation with our identities. I am working to better align my beliefs with my practices; resolving my money issues is one central feature in this regard. I ask social activists and the like to awaken to this reality.
Disclaimer: Wealthy/rich are used here interchangeably for simplicity.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Topic: Everybody wants heaven...
This past Saturday, a conversation between my uncle and I resurfaced a question I have often asked myself, especially after I enrolled in college: is "money the motive" of upward mobility/life/success/ etc? The conversation went as follows:
Uncle: So what kind of men do you like?
Myself: Um, it is hard to tell you this but I want a revolutionary, like a Malcolm X.
Uncle: Well you know that kind of man does not exist anymore, right?
Myself: Yes (I guess). I just don't want a traditional man; one who works just for the sake of making money or because that is what one has to do. I want someone more like me; someone who wants things to be different.
Uncle: Well, let me tell you this: I have been in this country for almost 16 years (I believe he said) and I have sent money to my mother (in Ghana) every month. I understand what you are trying to say but you will realize when you have kids and as your parents grow older that you want to make money; you have to make money. I am sure that "it will come with" whatever you end up doing. If you end up with a position where they offer you $X (I do not remember what large figure he said), will you tell them to cut it in half? No. So...[end conversation].
A few weeks prior to the conversation with my uncle, my dad and I had a similar conversation about wealth as we drove by a Trump building in the City. My father makes it a point to draw my attention to Trump buildings in the city. On this particularly day, I said: Dad, you talk about wanting to live a modest life but you constantly adulate an excessive/ money dependent lifestyle. You do not really want a modest life. You just say that you do, just like a lot of people I have come across. My father's response: I do want a modest life style and I have made sacrifices in my life in accordance with this principle. I mean, how many beds can you sleep on? One. How many cars can you drive in? One. How many houses can you live in? One. I know that money is not the end. There are greater things in life.
This past week, I listened continuously to the up-and-coming Ghanaian rapper, M.anifest's, song Heaven, on his album Immigrant Chronicles. On this song, he raps the following:
"Everybody wants heaven but nobody wants to die.
That be how we dey. That be what them say...
Everybody wants to eat but nobody wants to farm..."
The conversations with my uncle and dad, M.anifest's lyrics, Damisa Moya's recent article, Dambisa Moyo on resource scarcity and China's race for deals, on the limits to growth as the world's middle class expands, and Cord Jefferson's article, What's 50 Grand to a Revolutionary like me? Watch the throne and the New Black Power which gives a poignant argument on the appropriation of the notion/term Black revolutionary by Kanye West and Jay Z, all together elucidate my complex and conflicting feelings about my personal acquisition of wealth and the ways some members of my generation relate to the notion.
To start, for as long as I can remember, money has never been sufficient motivation for me to do or pursue anything. In high school, I was mostly rewarded with food and not pecuniary remuneration for jobs or help I provided to teachers. In college, I similarly accepted jobs and internships whose mission were aligned with what I wanted to do at the time; the pay was always secondary. This privilege to do things not necessarily for money was and continues to be a luxury. Through the hard work of my parents and the generosity of philanthropists, I have been been afforded opportunities to study and work in accordance with my interests and I am grateful that I have not been pressured into an activity otherwise.
But neither my family nor I are rich or wealthy; rich/wealth are very subjective terms but for the sake of argument, just believe me that I am not rich or close to being rich in strict economic terms. The common belief I have encountered among most people I know is that people who do not have money want it, at times desperately, and thus are generally motivated by the prospects of acquiring it. I, however, have never really wanted or liked money in excess of simply getting by. I am not the only one who feels this way and this disposition is not due to any higher calling or consciousness. Rather, I am ill accustomed to the luxuries wealth affords; wealth makes me uncomfortable and there is really no getting used to it. When I used to work for an investment bank in high school [did not really do much there] and was paid more per hour than members of my family who hold physically and mentally demanding jobs, I was primarily ashamed and then annoyed. It was from this experience in the 11th grade which led me to the decision never to go into the corporate world (although I would go on to study classical economics in college...not necessarily my best decision).
The above personal account, however, is not to criticize wealth in and of itself but to situate and contextualize myself in a phenomenon which baffles me. To be clear, I do not hate or despise rich or wealthy people. I can be and I am friends with capitalists. I have a [very] few rich friends and I appreciate their perspectives on life and society, as I do with everyone [and ofcourse, the travels which their money affords]. In fact, my college classmates who are going off to the corporate world or some other money generating organ fully aware and comfortable with the fact that they are there to make money, lots of it, and may be even selfish in their pursuit of it have my stamp of approval; at least they know and are honest with where they stand. I can not empathize with their motivation for money per say but I very well understand the need for money, the thrill of adventure, the appeal of luxury and the addiction to fame, power, desire as I have sought these things as well and perhaps still do in divergent forms.
The behavior which is unnerving for me and which I have the most conflicting intellectual and emotional response to, however, is the social activist, "save the world", community organizer, public intellectual, social critic, progressive, environmentalist, revolutionary, self-proclaimed or renowned, who has grandiose humanist ideals and beliefs about changing the world for the proletariat AND is being paid as much as the capitalist. Specifically, accepts this pay and indiscreetly indulges it in, consciously or otherwise. Let me give some examples: a facebook acquaintance who is working for a non-profit in D.C. campaigning for policy change in low-income communities regularly shares instagram pictures of himself eating at exquisite restaurants, with other power-brokers, and with his sterling watches and cufflinks. Another self professed Black progressive geek and future public intellectual's facebook cover page is a picture of his brand-name watch, shoes, and trousers and as revealed by one of his friends, is also the "connoisseur of the finest wine". There is this dissonance which I sense here and to which I can draw parallels to Jefferson's article about the redefinition of the revolutionary - that the acquisition of wealth, status, celebrity and power by people formerly (and still) denied access to high society is now considered revolutionary.
To expound further, what is unsettling for me is not whether the social activist is wealthy or not. My parents modeled (or tried to model) for me the belief that as I work to understand and fight for the happiness and security of others, I should not ignore my own. A similar rationale applies to this social activist pursuit: it would be unfair to ask the social activist to work for the "common man" to have his fair share of the worlds riches while he/she/they/them/it does not secure it for himself/herself/themselves/itself. The conflict is the incongruity of humanists' world visions and motivations and the way they live their personal lives - a discord, or dissonance which I am not sure people are conscious of and only wish we would speak about, if only to say that we, as humanists, face a challenging feat of understanding our relationship to/with wealth and our work.
People often distance and separate themselves from the issues which they seek to address; as though they are not implicated in the struggle in which they fight, specifically, those concerned with the poor, proletariat, farmer, et cetera. As Moyo's and Jefforson's articles point out and countless other economists and other specialists have well accounted in their work, we can not all live on this planet as rich or middle class people! I think that we all know this outside of our specialties; our world can not support such aspirations. If we all want to eat, someone has to farm. And to be clear, the farmer's social role is not any less significant, civilized, or appealing than that of the market analyst. If anything, it is more important because it sustains us all. My point here is not to argue that someone has to be rich and another subservient to his riches; my point is that it is a zero sum game and there are limits to growth, although technology may mitigate its effects or onset. In fact, on average, the money that the progressive is making lobbying in D.C. directly impacts the privileges afforded to the person they are fighting for whether locally or globally; it is not a causal relationship but on average, this is true.
In truth, More Money, More Problems, For everyone! I am still thinking through exactly what this stance entails for myself as I go higher on the educational ladder. Can I say no to the $100,000 salary if that is the status quo for the career I end up pursuing? Perhaps not. Members of my family in Ghana are poor, very poor; my parents are getting older; I want to have a family of my own; and I want to be a philanthropist as I have been the benefactor of other people's financial success. This reality and my aspirations require money. But I do not want to deceive myself into thinking that making money as a social activist is revolutionary if my cause is to help the poor, specifically the poor and disadvantaged in Africa. I want to be serious in my consideration of living a modest lifestyle; I do not just want to say it haphazardly however subjective the term modesty is. If money is the motive, then money is the motive. But if not, then again, I would rather be cognizant of the complexity and contradictions living in a highly materialistic world as a humanist. As with everything, I know that we are all in constant negotiation with our identities. I am working to better align my beliefs with my practices; resolving my money issues is one central feature in this regard. I ask social activists and the like to awaken to this reality.
Disclaimer: Wealthy/rich are used here interchangeably for simplicity.
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