On speaking & Graduation
Today
marks the one week anniversary of my graduation from college. By the
time I post this reflection, it will be a week and one day (ha, it is
already 11:59pm on Sunday as type this sentence). I have had a lot of
time in between endless web browsing, watching t.v. mindlessly and
window shopping around the block to partially reflect on graduation day and the speeches I have heard in the last month. In particular, I
have mulled over my own speech at the Black Cultural Center Senior
dinner and its lack of traction. Either people simply did not like it or
more likely, people liked it while it was being said and during the 30
second applause it received afterwards but not after the event and
certainly not today. Of all the things I tried to get across in my
speech, my closest friends who were at the event asked me a few weeks
later what I actually said in the speech. One started to make fun of me
for talking about the zombie in the Starburst commercial. Another
randomly asked me two days ago to say lamb. Perplexed, I asked him why.
He said that it was all he remembered from my speech; that I said that I
pronounced the b in lamb. Really? Definitely lost one.
But I have “seized the moment” before. During my high school valedictorian speech, I talked about each of my classmates in our graduating class of 20 or so. I mentioned a unique characteristic of each person, how he/she (or insert gender pronoun) had contributed to my growth and the growth of the senior class as a whole, and then all the amazing things we were going to do in the world. For the occasion, I said something meaningful for and to everyone and was deeply moved by the sentimentality of the occasion.
So what happened at the Black Senior dinner? I think the demise of that speech stems from both its content and delivery. To provide some context, a week or so before the event, my friend called me an intellectual; specifically, I was told that I intellectualize everything. While I have been called intelligent by my teachers and certain members of my family, this was the first time I was called an intellectual, especially by a friend. It was hard to grasp. I am not comfortable with being called an intellectual. I will write about this in more detail soon but for now, let us say that the word connotes an intention to set oneself above others which is a belief I just do not believe in. Moreover, once one begins to believe too deeply in being intelligent or intellectual, one’s focus turns to defending that attribute and being above the curve rather than challenging oneself to learn incessantly and sharing that knowledge.
So back to the speech: another friend went so far to say that I was a burden on her conversation when I asked her if I was an intellectual. This coupled with lingering sentiments of dissonance and disillusionment with change and activism and an annoyance with the pompousness and self-righteousness of some of us college students - that we are important because we are going to change the world - motivated me to keep my speech lighthearted, straight to the point, non intellectual - whatever that is, and funny. Making fun of myself is always easy so that worked, and clearly, people remember that and we laugh about it. But the content didn’t stick; “that a person is a person through people and that in essence, people made my experience at college what it was”. Truthfully, no one remembers what I said because while the delivery was indeed too relaxed for the occasion, I, more tragically, let my insecurity about being called an “intellectual” misdirect the focus of my speech. I am not entirely sure what I would have talked about instead of what I did (probably the pompous/ self-righteous activist thing) but I was not entirely passionate about the message which I shared that night and it was clear.
So the lesson is to not be engrossed in my personal brouhaha when I have the opportunity to speak to an audience, especially to an audience of my peers. Specifically, to not only say something meaningful and relevant to the audience but to not miss the opportunity to engage the audience in something I truly believe is important to share at that moment and time. In light of this realization and with my love for public speaking, I look forward to future public speaking opportunities to learn and craft a skill I see of great importance in my future work.
To end, below are the links to two of my favorite graduation speeches. They are indeed thought provoking speeches which clearly embody messages the speakers felt were gravely importantly to share at the time. Together, these two speeches say most of the things I wish I could have gotten across in my speech. Enjoy.
1. Timothy Burke, Swarthmore Last Collection Speech
http://blogs.swarthmore.edu/burke/last-collection-speech-swarthmore-2002/
2. David Foster Wallace, Kenyon College Commencement Speech
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5THXa_H_N8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSAzbSQqals&feature=relmfu
But I have “seized the moment” before. During my high school valedictorian speech, I talked about each of my classmates in our graduating class of 20 or so. I mentioned a unique characteristic of each person, how he/she (or insert gender pronoun) had contributed to my growth and the growth of the senior class as a whole, and then all the amazing things we were going to do in the world. For the occasion, I said something meaningful for and to everyone and was deeply moved by the sentimentality of the occasion.
So what happened at the Black Senior dinner? I think the demise of that speech stems from both its content and delivery. To provide some context, a week or so before the event, my friend called me an intellectual; specifically, I was told that I intellectualize everything. While I have been called intelligent by my teachers and certain members of my family, this was the first time I was called an intellectual, especially by a friend. It was hard to grasp. I am not comfortable with being called an intellectual. I will write about this in more detail soon but for now, let us say that the word connotes an intention to set oneself above others which is a belief I just do not believe in. Moreover, once one begins to believe too deeply in being intelligent or intellectual, one’s focus turns to defending that attribute and being above the curve rather than challenging oneself to learn incessantly and sharing that knowledge.
So back to the speech: another friend went so far to say that I was a burden on her conversation when I asked her if I was an intellectual. This coupled with lingering sentiments of dissonance and disillusionment with change and activism and an annoyance with the pompousness and self-righteousness of some of us college students - that we are important because we are going to change the world - motivated me to keep my speech lighthearted, straight to the point, non intellectual - whatever that is, and funny. Making fun of myself is always easy so that worked, and clearly, people remember that and we laugh about it. But the content didn’t stick; “that a person is a person through people and that in essence, people made my experience at college what it was”. Truthfully, no one remembers what I said because while the delivery was indeed too relaxed for the occasion, I, more tragically, let my insecurity about being called an “intellectual” misdirect the focus of my speech. I am not entirely sure what I would have talked about instead of what I did (probably the pompous/ self-righteous activist thing) but I was not entirely passionate about the message which I shared that night and it was clear.
So the lesson is to not be engrossed in my personal brouhaha when I have the opportunity to speak to an audience, especially to an audience of my peers. Specifically, to not only say something meaningful and relevant to the audience but to not miss the opportunity to engage the audience in something I truly believe is important to share at that moment and time. In light of this realization and with my love for public speaking, I look forward to future public speaking opportunities to learn and craft a skill I see of great importance in my future work.
To end, below are the links to two of my favorite graduation speeches. They are indeed thought provoking speeches which clearly embody messages the speakers felt were gravely importantly to share at the time. Together, these two speeches say most of the things I wish I could have gotten across in my speech. Enjoy.
1. Timothy Burke, Swarthmore Last Collection Speech
http://blogs.swarthmore.edu/burke/last-collection-speech-swarthmore-2002/
2. David Foster Wallace, Kenyon College Commencement Speech
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5THXa_H_N8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSAzbSQqals&feature=relmfu
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