Steam of consciousness
If I fell in love today, I would give it all up. We would go into the wild. I know that you are supposed to go on those kinds of journeys alone, to have those revelations by yourself, but I want to go with someone. I want someone to share and keep those memories with. Nothing else matters.
The only one thing I'm sure about is love. Intimate love. Because I felt it once a long time ago and everything was alright; the emotional pull of things did not compare in gravity to that feeling and that experience. But apart from love, I'm truly ambivalent about everything. Everything. I have contradictory and conflicting feelings about almost everything else.
I am writing this because I know I have quite a voice; at least in writing, I sound convicted about most things. So people call me a feminist, womanist, marxist, socialist, intellectual, etc. I don't care about those labels. Call it whatever. More so than any other motivation, I want this blog to be a space where people who love people can just love and celebrate people. I get that some people are misanthropes, realists, true capitalists, etc. I am for whatever resonates with you. I'm for plurality. I find that people who understand these motivations but are just not intrinsically compelled by them, however, do not have a space to be - to just love people and peace and music and love. Such people are called idealists, weird, socially-unadjusted or maladjusted, intellectuals, and made to feel like they don't belong. As if they are some freaks of nature. So I wanted a space for myself, for the in-betweeners. I'm not talking about the progressives, hipsters, etc. I don't know. Just people who want to vibe. Those who are out of these confines.
Yo, seriously, I keep finding that my desire to know more is deliberately against my sanity. Knowledge is not joy. But ignorance is not bliss either.
On any given day, the only thing I really want to do is laugh at and with people. I laugh at myself a lot. And then comes all those other interests I write about. I just believe that the world is big enough to have a space for people like myself. The galaxy is big enough. The universe is big enough. If not a physical space, a virtual one, a metaphysical one...
I'm perpetually ambivalent.
But if and when I fall in love, I will give it all up. I hope he's a funny writer. We would go into the wild.
STEAM. not Stream. of Consciousness
The only one thing I'm sure about is love. Intimate love. Because I felt it once a long time ago and everything was alright; the emotional pull of things did not compare in gravity to that feeling and that experience. But apart from love, I'm truly ambivalent about everything. Everything. I have contradictory and conflicting feelings about almost everything else.
I am writing this because I know I have quite a voice; at least in writing, I sound convicted about most things. So people call me a feminist, womanist, marxist, socialist, intellectual, etc. I don't care about those labels. Call it whatever. More so than any other motivation, I want this blog to be a space where people who love people can just love and celebrate people. I get that some people are misanthropes, realists, true capitalists, etc. I am for whatever resonates with you. I'm for plurality. I find that people who understand these motivations but are just not intrinsically compelled by them, however, do not have a space to be - to just love people and peace and music and love. Such people are called idealists, weird, socially-unadjusted or maladjusted, intellectuals, and made to feel like they don't belong. As if they are some freaks of nature. So I wanted a space for myself, for the in-betweeners. I'm not talking about the progressives, hipsters, etc. I don't know. Just people who want to vibe. Those who are out of these confines.
Yo, seriously, I keep finding that my desire to know more is deliberately against my sanity. Knowledge is not joy. But ignorance is not bliss either.
On any given day, the only thing I really want to do is laugh at and with people. I laugh at myself a lot. And then comes all those other interests I write about. I just believe that the world is big enough to have a space for people like myself. The galaxy is big enough. The universe is big enough. If not a physical space, a virtual one, a metaphysical one...
I'm perpetually ambivalent.
But if and when I fall in love, I will give it all up. I hope he's a funny writer. We would go into the wild.
STEAM. not Stream. of Consciousness
Comments
Post a Comment